so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
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