She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
Randomize
