I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
