The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
Randomize