So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
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That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
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My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
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