Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
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This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
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Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
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