its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
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