You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
Randomize