He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
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Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
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I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
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