You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
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