i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
The Internet Is Obsessed With This Stripper Who Dropped It Low Just To Eat A Slice Of Pizza
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
Randomize
