the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
Randomize
