So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize