Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
Sober January is a disaster.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
These People Made Expensive Mistakes That They’ll Regret Forever
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
Things The Opposite Sex Just Doesn’t Understand
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.