I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
Some Animals Are Total Jerks (10+ pics)
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.