So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food