I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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