i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
where are my pants?
in the oven.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
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