We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
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