He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
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