Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
Randomize