I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
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