he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
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