My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize