Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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