so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Randomize