My underwear smells like fireworks.
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Randomize