was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
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