Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Randomize
