Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
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