the police officer looked at my vomit and told me "milk was a bad choice"
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
Dignity is for republicans.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
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