You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
