Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
Who wears a wallet chain?!
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
Randomize