Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
Randomize
