just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
Randomize