so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
Randomize
