i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
You had me at "let me see your balls"
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
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