Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Randomize