walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.