Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.