i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
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