What tipped you off? The sombrero?
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
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