Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Randomize
