so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
Randomize