420 ftw
Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
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UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
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You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
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