I don't remember. Are we still dating?
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
I'm really sorry I called you a "smug, arrogant, boyfriend-fucking piece of defecation". I was super drunk.
I was going to be mad, but then I remembered you don't use autocorrect and spelled everything correctly and I was kinda impressed.
Randomize
