now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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