Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
Randomize
