never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
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