Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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