Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
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