There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
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