he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
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Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
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She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
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