When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
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Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
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I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
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